A linebacker in a dress...

        So tonight is date night! We are going to dinner and to see our good friends band Placid Blue. (If you haven't checked them out yet, you should!) Like I always do I consulted my sister on what I should wear. I have done this for YEARS.  Once when she asked me if I was ever going to pick out my own clothes... my answer was "Never, why would I do that when I have you?" Anyway, since we don't live close I have to take pic and send them to her via text. I was doing that this morning and every outfit I put on, took the pic, and sent, made me feel worse and worse about myself.  Now, my sister is awesome and would never tell me I look awful, or bad for that matter.  She would, however, be completely honest with me about how something looks, and she has great taste! This is why she is my go to girl! We picked an outfit that is acceptable, even though it was one I wear often.

     She was showing me what she would be wearing and a couple of scarves she had made.  I have always been impressed with her trendy, easy going style! I had wanted to try something a little trendier, but it just wasn't working. My sister, always my biggest fan, tells me I am trendier than I think.  I responded..."I look like a linebacker in a dress." Even though she assured me I didn't, I wasn't hearing it.    At this point of the conversation, I was being quite hard on myself; I might have even shed a few tears. (But I won’t confirm or deny that ;-) I will say that it was an awful feeling. One I really only experience on occasion, when I do though, it’s not pretty.  This is when having a support system comes in handy.  Me talking like that about myself was unacceptable for her. She told me to "stop it!" Actually she said "Stop it right meow poop mouth" ... she has a twisted since of humor. It worked though. I did stop.  I told her that I will just wear the old stand by dress, and will try something a little trendier in a few months when I’m thinner.

       By this time, I had decided the only thing that would make me feel better was a hard work out. When you get to the point of this kind of negativity directed at yourself, it’s kind of hard to be like "HEY! I want to go burn some calories!" I have learned that if you can just muster up enough energy to put on your shoes and push play, you NEVER regret it! So I lace up the shoes and get ready to WORK!  Before I got started I enjoyed some Greek yogurt with a little almond granola for some fuel.  At first my work out was going great, then all of the sudden I hear hollering coming from the kitchen. Ugh.  So, I run in there and break up the argument, and head back to work out.  A few minutes later, my daughter tells me there is pudding all over her and the floor.  OK, stop again and ask my son to clean it up for me.  Thankfully, he did it without any argument.  There were a few more disagreements that had to be broken up, those I took care of while continuing with my video. All the while I was getting more and more frustrated.  With how my body feels right now, I assume that just made me push harder. It's amazing how hard you can push when angry.  Right after I had finished, I still felt angry and frustrated. However, now that it has been a little while and a shower later.  I feel MUCH better, much calmer and much happier.  Now no matter what clothes I end up wearing tonight, I am going to look great.  I’ll be wearing a smile!     

"Let's go to town for a little while, I'll be wearing nothing but a tattoo and a smile"- Miranda Lambert