Kit Kats and cupcakes don't take away pride.

     OK so, I have hit another little bump in road.  I haven’t worked out in 5 days. I mostly have eaten well except for the Kit-Kat and the cupcake.  Both have good stories, which I will tell you about! When I started on this journey, I knew that I wanted to do it while still living my same social life with different choices.  I wanted to still LIVE! Let’s face it, sometimes that involves a cupcake.

     We had a very busy weekend starting on Friday evening with UIL competition for my son.  Then we had to be back at UIL for the awards ceremony.  He didn't win an award, but we were proud anyway!  That night, we had even more to be proud of; he received his Arrow of Light award.  For those that don’t know, that is the highest award a cub scout can earn.  He has worked for almost 2 years for that award!   At this ceremony, he crossed over to Boy Scouts.  Needless to say it was a big weekend for him.  That night he had gotten a king size Kit-Kat in a goodie bag.  When we got home he sat my husband and me down and thanked us for all of our help.  He gave us his Kit-Kat and told us to split it.  How could I turn down such a generous offering from my baby? So I ate my half.  No guilt involved!

     The next day was my darling nephew’s first birthday.  It was a family and friends extravaganza! Full of veggies, my hubbies healthy cornbread (recipe below), chili, and from scratch red velvet cupcakes with homemade cream cheese icing! It was also full of lots of love! Back to the cupcake… I considered not having one, and then I thought, WHY was I not having one? It was my only nephew’s 1^st Birthday.  This was a celebration, and I wanted to celebrate.  Did that cupcake set me back? Probably a little.  Do I feel guilty for eating it? Nope, not even a little. 

     Now the not working out part, that makes me feel bad.  I am getting back on it tomorrow.  Why not today? Well this day is supposed to be a rest day on my calendar, so I will just stick with the calendar and pick up tomorrow. 

     Things happen and life gets in the way, you choose how you deal.   It’s like falling off a horse.  Do you give up, or get back on?  I am getting back on!

Corn Bread

1 cup whole wheat flour

1 cup cornmeal

1/4 cup honey

1 teaspoon baking soda

3/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup plain nonfat yogurt

1/3 cup egg whites

1 Small can of corn

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Lightly grease an 8x8 inch baking pan.

In a large bowl, mix flour, cornmeal, honey, soda and salt. Stir in yogurt, corn and eggs. Do not over mix, stir only until well blended. Pour batter into prepared pan.

Bake in preheated oven for 20 to 25 minutes, or until center of the bread springs back when gently pressed.

"We lose our way, We get back up again

It's never too late to get back up again, One day you will shine again,

You may be knocked down, But not out forever,

Lose our way, We get back up again,

So get up, get up, You gonna shine again,

Never too late to get back up again, You may be knocked down,

But not out forever  (May be knocked down but not out forever)" - Toby Mac

A Little bit of this and that

I realized I need to actually write down my goals. I have heard from a reliable source, +Michelle Carlson, that doing this will make my goals more reachable! (Go check out her videos if you need a little inspiration!) So I decided to share them with you. Some are health and fitness related some aren't.

1. Drop 3 pants sizes by May.

2. Raise $1800 for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.

3. Complete Training for Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.

4. Complete the 39.3 mile walk on April 20-21.

5. Enroll in school.

6. Do 10 real pushups.  

I also realized today, that even though I have been working out 5 times a week, and  the only "bad" food I have eaten since the first was 2 Kolaches, 1 Rolo and 1 caramel Kiss, I haven't lost that much.  So I reevaluated my diet.  Yes, I was eating all healthy, "clean" food. However, I was over doing my calories per day.  So my system is healthier, but I am not in weight loss mode. I have lost some, j ust not what I expected.   I have set up www.MyFitnessPal.com to track everything I need.  Just one little road bump.

As far as the Avon walk, I participated last year, however, I couldn't finish. It is 39.3 miles in 2 days. Not only was it physically demanding and exhausting, it took its toll emotionally. Especially, when I couldn't complete the entire thing. I felt like a failure! I have learned a few things since then and I WILL finish this year! One of the most important things I learned from my mother is NEVER GIVE UP! If she could fight cancer, what is 39.3 miles?? If you would like to donate please do so here I realized I need to actually write down my goals. I have heard from a reliable source, +Michelle Carlson, that doing this will make my goals more reachable!(go check out her videos if you need a little inspiration!) So I decided to share them with you. Some are health and fitness related some aren't.

1. Drop 3 pants sizes by May.

2. Raise $1800 for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.

3. Complete Training for Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.

4. Complete the 39.3 mile walk on April 20-21.

5. Enroll in school.

6. Do 10 real push ups.  

I also realized today, that even though I have been working out 5 times a week, and  the only "bad" food I have eaten since the first was 2 Kolaches, 1 Rolo and 1 caramel Kiss, I haven't lost that much.  So I reevaluated my diet.  Yes, I was eating all healthy, "clean" food. However, I was over doing my calories per day.  So my system is healthier, but I am not in weight loss mode. I have lost some. Just not what I expected.   I have set up www.MyFitnessPal.com to track everything I need.  Just one little road bump.


As far as the Avon walk, I participated last year, however, I couldn't finish. I have learned a few things since then and I WILL finish this year! If you would like to donate please do so here    click here

You gotta TRY

           Now that I am on this public journey, I have been asked a lot of questions about what I am eating, or doing for exercise. The majority of the time, while I am explaining my program, I am met with comments like,” oh well that’s too time consuming” or “I just don’t have the energy”.  Some say, “I need to lose weight then I will tone up”.  These responses remind me of my same “reasons” that where really excuses.  I had to decide that no matter what I had to get healthy. (Not skinny, healthy)

           I don’t know about you but exercise was scary when it was new. Things “hurt” and “burn” that I didn't even know existed. My legs shook and I SWEAT! Oh the horror!!  From what I have learned you have to find what works for you. Not all work outs are alike, and not all are made for everybody. My friends run the gamut on what “their” work outs are. I have P90x friends, cross fit friends, pole dancing (for fitness) friends, running friends, Dancing friends and even friends who create their own programs.  All have found what works for them.  By works I mean, gets them results while enjoying their work out in the process. I happen to love the ChaLean Extreme. This program is a combination of weight training, and interval cardio.

           As far as my diet it’s pretty simple. By diet I mean what I eat, not some crazy cabbage soup, or any other FAD.  I eat egg whites, spinach and Ezekiel toast most mornings for breakfast at about 5:30 am. I have a snack about 7:45 of a piece of fruit or 6 oz plain Greek yogurt with a little granola. During my conference period at about 10ish I have another snack, usually carrots or a string cheese.  My lunch is at noon and I will normally have a spinach salad with tomato and a balsamic drizzle (I really mean a drizzle, then I cover with a lid and shake it to cover as much spinach as possible) and a piece of fruit. This is what works for my schedule in the mornings.  I may or may not eat another snack at about 3:15 in the afternoon.  Lately this snack has been one piece of Ezekiel bread and some turkey breast. I work out about 4 and have dinner cooked by 6.  Dinner is some sort of protein be it poultry, lean pork or fish, with 2 different steamed veggies. We did have steak tonight, and that is rare to medium rare.  I try not to eat after that but sometimes I cave and have some more yogurt.  Portion size is key, mine are small. 

          Time is a huge factor for me. I am a very busy person. I work a full time job. I have to children that are involved in after school activities, and I am involved in my church on a weekly basis. I couldn't wait around for the fitness fairy to wave her magic wand. Shhhhh… but she doesn't exist! I had to make time. I had to make the decision. I have to get up every morning a say… you can do this. 

There are days I just don’t feel like working out. If I will just start the work out, I will get right in the groove. These are the days I end up pushing the hardest. Today there were 2 cakes in the lounge. I didn't even want a piece, I did however, eat 2 sausage and cheese kolaches. I ended doing lunges all around school and jumping jacks while running some copies.  The guilt weighed more than the kolaches could have ever added.  I had to just forgive myself and move on. I did still kind of punish myself with a super intense cardio session, I pushed harder than ever. Now I know I can do it, and will continue to do so, without the kolaches. 

"Where there is desire, There is gonna be a flame

Where there is a flame, Someone's bound to get burned

But just because it burns, Doesn't mean you're gonna die

You've gotta get up and try try try, Gotta get up and try try try

You gotta get up and try try try"- Pink

Support

      Since I have stared this blog, I have had a lot of feedback.  Most is in total support of me and my journey.  This is why I know I have the greatest support system of all time.  That being said the “support” I have received through the years hasn't always been positive.  Sometimes the great support I thought I was getting was in fact so horribly bad for me.  At other times the negative or lack of support is what pushed me the hardest.  Having someone tell me I CAN’T do something is just like a challenge to me.  It makes me say “Oh yeah? Watch ME!”

       Like everyone, I have my own past.  My own story, some of it is sad.  Some is utterly unbearable.  Most of it is “cloud nine” happy.  I have been lucky to have had 2 parents that loved me.  They handled my weight issues completely different.  My mother went out of her way to tell me how beautiful I was, no matter what. She would say regardless of my weight or size there was nothing I couldn't do.  She would try so very hard to get me eat the right foods.  She wasn't a gourmet chef, but she did try and make sure we got all our protein and veggies. (Never 2 of the same color in one meal.)  This kind of support is imperative.  To know that you are loved is a support like no other.  Now, my father had a different approach.  His approach was flat out honesty.  Some people may think it’s bad to tell your daughter to lose a few pounds. This however, is what I needed to hear. Of course facing the facts is sometimes painful, and uncomfortable.  Yes, it might have hurt my feelings at the time, but like they say “honesty is the best policy.” Having this balance is why I may have been one of the luckiest children in the world.  I had the best of both worlds. 

         Like all girls growing up, before you meet Prince Charming you have to kiss a lot of frogs.  I have had my share of frogs in prince costumes.  Whether it’s healthy or not, these frogs have had their own little influences on my weight.  Looking back I see how it’s possible they thought they were helping.  In fact, they were making things way worse. One particular frog wouldn't date me unless I dropped a few pounds.  I did everything in my power to get that guy…this is when starvation reared its ugly head.   Once I dropped the weight we were a great couple!  He really was a great person.  Except for when it came to my body.  There were times we would be eating out, and he would ask if I was going to eat all that?  Yup, that happened.  At the time I thought it was because he cared.  Until I realized that what he cared about was how I looked. This is when I learned that unless a guy could love me regardless of how I looked that I didn't need him.

         My friends and family are also an important piece of the support puzzle.  I have a lot that are an infinite source of encouragement.  Constant texts, emails, and calls saying good job and keep it up.  My husband has seen my weight all over the scale.  He has always loved me the same. My family is incredibly awesome. (But that’s another blog post) I have had few so called friends along the way that have had a negative outlook on my journey, and that’s ok.  Like I said, I see that as a challenge, kind of like a double dare to succeed. So if you have people in your life that may have a negative outlook on what you are trying to do. Let that push you to not only get the job done, but do it with as much sparkle as you can!! 

"Were you born to resist or be abused

I swear ill never give in, I refuse

is someone getting the best, the best, the best of you?"- Foo Fighters

The Balance

Well the past couple of days have been a little stressful to say the least.  The kids and I went back to school. Let me just say, it was way easier to eat right and work out when there was really nothing else to do. Planning has been the most important aspect of my journey so far.  I took plenty of snacks to work for the week, and have been very successful with packing my lunches also.  I really prefer to work out first thing in the morning. However, I have to be at work at 7 AM, so I would have to get up at about 5.  Anyone who knows me knows that 5 in the morning is too early.  So I have been getting it done after school, before The Hubs gets home.  That has been working really well.

       I have been super emotional and on edge the past couple of days.  I had a feeling that my body was going through some sort of withdrawal from all the processed junk I had been eating. I did some research, and turns out I was right.  I had been eating pretty much whatever I wanted.  When I cleaned up my diet and lowered my sugar, carb, caloric, and removed almost all processed foods, my body said WHAT!!??  It's been over a week now and I have leveled out. If you ever go through this, please, don't give up!  It is so worth it to get all that junk out of your system!

    Today the weather was so horrible, storming and gray all day.  When this weather sets in all I want to do is cuddle on the couch with my kiddos.  The last thing I wanted to do was sweat! When I got home I immediately put on my workout clothes.  I just had to make the choice to DO IT.  When I finished, I realized I had really pushed myself, and felt much better. I think Nike may be onto something with that whole "Just Do IT" thing!

This is what I made for dinner tonight... it was a HIT!

Broccoli Chicken Rice "casserole"

3 boneless chicken breast cut into about 1 inch chunks

Bag of fresh broccoli and cauliflower

1 cup of brown rice (uncooked)

1/2 cup shredded cheese

1. Cook rice seasoned with garlic powder

2. Sauté chicken on med until cooked through. (I used a little bit of celery salt and pepper)

3. Steam broccoli and cauliflower

4. Mix all together.  You could put in a casserole dish and top with cheese.  I just mixed it in a big skillet and topped with cheese.

5. Enjoy!

This makes enough to feed 4 with 2 lunches for tomorrow.

"Just open your eyes, And realize, the way it's always been.

Just open your mind And you will find

The way it's always been.

Just open your heart

And that's a start."-  Moody Blues 

Biggest Loser

        I flipped on the TV ready to watch the biggest loser! With in the first 5 min tears where streaming down my face.  The children or "ambassadors to obesity" reminded me of my childhood.  Struggling with my weight my entire life has been an emotional roller coaster.  Thank GOD for dance, otherwise I may have been in a way worse situation.  However, as a child I was always the biggest girl in the class, and by big I don't mean I was tall!  I wore a junior size 3 in the 3rd. grade. By 6th grade i was wearing a 13. Somewhere in high school I got up to a 16/18.  High school was when my chronic dieting began, and during my sophomore year I got down to a 10.  I haven't been smaller than that since.

        Hearing those kids talk about how they feel, tugs at my heart.  Feeling like the only thing people are looking at is their size.  Wanting to just be kids.  It is a feeling I never want my own children to feel.  The next time my 5 year old daughter tells me she wants to run, even though I am not a runner, I will put on my running shoes, and go with her.  My son wants to play soccer, and next season, he will.  From now on this isn't just my journey.  It's a family affair. 

I love the Biggest Loser and ecstatic that Jillian is back!  

"I believe the children are our future, Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside,  Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be"- Whitney Houston

A linebacker in a dress...

        So tonight is date night! We are going to dinner and to see our good friends band Placid Blue. (If you haven't checked them out yet, you should!) Like I always do I consulted my sister on what I should wear. I have done this for YEARS.  Once when she asked me if I was ever going to pick out my own clothes... my answer was "Never, why would I do that when I have you?" Anyway, since we don't live close I have to take pic and send them to her via text. I was doing that this morning and every outfit I put on, took the pic, and sent, made me feel worse and worse about myself.  Now, my sister is awesome and would never tell me I look awful, or bad for that matter.  She would, however, be completely honest with me about how something looks, and she has great taste! This is why she is my go to girl! We picked an outfit that is acceptable, even though it was one I wear often.

     She was showing me what she would be wearing and a couple of scarves she had made.  I have always been impressed with her trendy, easy going style! I had wanted to try something a little trendier, but it just wasn't working. My sister, always my biggest fan, tells me I am trendier than I think.  I responded..."I look like a linebacker in a dress." Even though she assured me I didn't, I wasn't hearing it.    At this point of the conversation, I was being quite hard on myself; I might have even shed a few tears. (But I won’t confirm or deny that ;-) I will say that it was an awful feeling. One I really only experience on occasion, when I do though, it’s not pretty.  This is when having a support system comes in handy.  Me talking like that about myself was unacceptable for her. She told me to "stop it!" Actually she said "Stop it right meow poop mouth" ... she has a twisted since of humor. It worked though. I did stop.  I told her that I will just wear the old stand by dress, and will try something a little trendier in a few months when I’m thinner.

       By this time, I had decided the only thing that would make me feel better was a hard work out. When you get to the point of this kind of negativity directed at yourself, it’s kind of hard to be like "HEY! I want to go burn some calories!" I have learned that if you can just muster up enough energy to put on your shoes and push play, you NEVER regret it! So I lace up the shoes and get ready to WORK!  Before I got started I enjoyed some Greek yogurt with a little almond granola for some fuel.  At first my work out was going great, then all of the sudden I hear hollering coming from the kitchen. Ugh.  So, I run in there and break up the argument, and head back to work out.  A few minutes later, my daughter tells me there is pudding all over her and the floor.  OK, stop again and ask my son to clean it up for me.  Thankfully, he did it without any argument.  There were a few more disagreements that had to be broken up, those I took care of while continuing with my video. All the while I was getting more and more frustrated.  With how my body feels right now, I assume that just made me push harder. It's amazing how hard you can push when angry.  Right after I had finished, I still felt angry and frustrated. However, now that it has been a little while and a shower later.  I feel MUCH better, much calmer and much happier.  Now no matter what clothes I end up wearing tonight, I am going to look great.  I’ll be wearing a smile!     

"Let's go to town for a little while, I'll be wearing nothing but a tattoo and a smile"- Miranda Lambert     

A day with friends

I got up this morning and enjoyed a couple cups of coffee, ALONE! For some reason the kids slept in! I also was able to work out in peace and I appreciated that. I was extremely sore from my previous work out, so today I was a little shaky, but  I pushed through and felt outstanding by the end.  I lifted pretty heavy which that made me hungry ALL day! My eating could have been better, but I did OK considering I was running the roads all day.  It would have helped a lot had I planned a little better and packed some snacks. 

Today was full of visits with friends.  The kiddos and I went back to visit a friend by our old house and her children, she recently lost a bunch of weight and I very proud of her.  She has a large family who is trying to eat well, even though making them happy is difficult at times. She has done a great job!  I am super inspired by her. Next, we went to my home town to visit "the girls". Our kids had so much fun playing. I'm not sure who had more fun, the children or the adults. :-) At this evening gathering we had several snacks which included veggies and hummus.  We also had some guac and chicken salad that were delish!  One of the girls made a cake that looked so good I went for the cake instead of a mini cupcake.  (recipe below)

                                  

Tomorrow is cardio day.  I really don't enjoy cardio day at all.  However, I will push through and get the work done.  My goal is to eat on more of a schedule so when I go back to work it will be easier for me, because by then it should be habit. A schedule is what really helps keep me on track.

Snowball cake:

 

1 angle food cake

1 package of frozen strawberries

family size sugar free jello 

1 package of coconut

1 large tub of cool whip free

1. prepare jello using 3 cups of boiling water

2. add frozen strawberries and mix well

3. remove crust off the cake

4. break cake into chunks and put in liquid

5. fold in half of the cool whip

6. chill

7. top with remaining cool whip 

"What would you do if I sang out of tune, Would you stand up and walk out on me.

Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song, And I'll try not to sing out of key.

Oh I get by with a little help from my friends"-  John Lennon and Paul McCartney

This is it... its Tomorrow.

This morning we woke up a little late. :-) We brought in the new year with friends, and of course we were up WAY to late, however it was well worth it! I got up this morning and made a fabulously healthy frittata. (recipe below) 

The Hubs made black eyed peas and cabbage for dinner. What are black eyed peas without cornbread? So, my wonderful husband made cornbread from scratch. Organic whole wheat flour and Greek yogurt instead of oil and eggs. It tastes a little different than Jiffy, that's no lie, but is still very tasty!

Just finished my 1st of many work outs of 2013! It felt great! My tomorrow has come. Tomorrow has become today....

Spinach Frittata: 

2 cups of raw spinach

1/2 cup of egg whites

1/4 cup of shredded Parmesan cheese

1 tbsp olive oil

dash of salt and pepper to taste

1. preheat oven to 400 degrees.

2.Heat olive oil in a oven safe skillet, add spinach toss until wilted

3. In a separate bowl beat together egg whites, Parmesan cheese, salt and pepper.

4.Spread spinach evenly over skillet, and pour in egg mixture.

5. Place skillet in the oven and let bake for about 12-15 min. 

"Right now, hey, It's your tomorrow.  Right now, C'mon, it's everything. Right now, Catch that magic moment, do it!  Right here and now, It means everything .  It's enlightened me, right now,  what are you waitin for? Oh, yeah, right now." - Van Halen